One of the things that I regularly think about is about the masks that people regularly wear. I don't mean a physical and visible mask, although I love the Venetian ones. I mean the ones that we use to hide our true feelings and thoughts from other people. I admit to having multiple masks because they're my protection from the outside world. Strength, when I actually feel weak. Confidence, when I actually feel like I have absolutely no chance. Shyness, to hide the lack of confidence.
To those closest to me, they know me behind those masks. They know that I can be ultra-sensitive, I have a rather dry sense of humour, and I tend to lack some tact, meaning that I don't always mince my words. The running joke when anybody visits my house is that your tact button gets checked in at the door. To keep myself grounded, I regularly pull out the mirror. I think that it is very important to reveal to yourself what and who you really are. I can get quite caught up with things in life...going to college, being a mum, and having to live and abide in general society. I may not have much, but I will bend over backwards to the best of my ability to help people. In today's society, not everybody understands that somebody can be quite happy to lend a helping hand. One of the problems that I have is stepping back and remembering myself, which ends up to the detriment of my physical and mental health. I regularly forget that there are people that will help if I ask...basically, I forget to ask.
Unfortunately, there are people in this world that forget to drop their masks and forget to look at who they really are in the mirror. They don't see the ugliness in which they show people. It's not the beautiful Venetian masks that they show, it's the mask of a gargoyle. They forget to temper the mask with the mirror, and lose themselves to the outside. They hurt those around them with jealousy, greed, arrogance, and superiority complexes that have no justification. They're hiding their true selves by beating those around them down with nastiness, misplaced judgement, and ignorance.
Sometimes, though it is a difficult thing, you just have to step away from people like that and let them get on with it. When the time comes, their mask will fall off, and the damage that they have done will be glaring back in the mirror, revealing that they have lost people that actually cared for them. For me, there are people that have irrevocably burned their bridges with me. I won't retaliate...karma will catch up with them. But there are a couple that I still care dearly for, but I have decided that it's just time to let them get on with it. They can dish out advice, but can't take it themselves and turn it into claiming that I'm being nasty when I'm not capable of it.
It's taken a fair bit of soul searching for me, but I'm currently in a place where my life just keeps getting better every day. That makes a change, as I have hit some pretty low places, but I'm going to run with the positivity and just ignore the negative. If those people need me, I will still be here, but I will no longer be offering what I have to give unless it's specifically asked for.