Well, I had started a post on Ancestry and Pathways, but I wasn't happy with the direction that it was taking, so it's now been deleted. I am honestly trying to get back into the swing of my regular posting regime, but the thoughts aren't flowing without sounding pompous, confused, and/or ignorant. Oh, well...we all have days like these.
The equinox has recently come and gone, and I completely missed that specific day out of busyness and complete exhaustion. Oops. Well, not really. Outside of the Samhein, I find it quite difficult to pinpoint a specific day for my personal celebrations. Yule gets rather close, but it gets celebrated on the best day that I can get all of my friends organised and here on the same day, sort of close to when everybody else actually observes it. I'm pretty sure, though, that if I were regularly observing with a group, we might get close to some of the other Sabbats I have seen other Pagans and Heathens that get into an absolute flit over trying to make sure that they can observe a Sabbat on a very specific day.
One thing that we have to remember is that our ancestral tribes didn't have paper or electronic calendars to worship, oops, I mean Observe, such as we do. They'd have a few people that kept track of the moon and the stars. And the weather...we can't forget the weather. You couldn't throw that first or second harvest festival until those harvest actually started to come in, and that depended on what the weather was doing. You'd count your own age by how many moons or seasons had passed. The Chinese have named their years by a rotation of twelve animals. The Celts calculated by thirteen lunar months named after trees that were common during those months (I will be researching both of these calendars, soon, for future posts).
I regularly get teased by Witchy Kitty because of the obvious lack of clocks in my house. There is one in the kitchen, that came with the house. The only calendar in the house was bought by somebody else, and regularly doesn't get changed until we're one or two, sometimes three, weeks into a month. I don't wear a watch, but I do set multiple alarms on my mobile, and I'm making a conscious attempt to add specific dates to my Google Calendar, which will send an alarm (or three, depending on how many I've set) to my mobile. I'm early for most things, or I'll have a panic attack. But, for the most part, I run on what's jokingly referred to as 'Pagan Standard Time'. If I don't have to be there at a specific time, I will get there when I do. It's been a few hours into daylight...I'm starting to get hungry, so maybe I'll go eat something. It's a couple of hours past sunset...I'm kind of tired, it's probably time for bed.
Today feels like a good day to do my seasonal clean-up of the house, and I feel the desire to do some baking tomorrow. So, I may seem a bit late to some of you, but because the day is just right for me, Happy Autumn Solstice!
Showing posts with label randomness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label randomness. Show all posts
Monday, 26 September 2011
Friday, 16 September 2011
I haven't forgotten...
I do promise, I haven't forgotten about my blog. This was my first proper full week in college, and I'm trying to get back into a routine that hasn't existed for months. Instead of getting up at 9am, as I normally would, we're having to get up at 6am. It's a bit of a shock to the system when you're not a natural morning person in the first place. I used to always function at my best when I could stay up until 4am, and sleep until noon, but that doesn't work when you have a child.
I guess a bit of an update. The Imp and I are back to being a team again now that we're having some time apart. The three days that I'm in college, she spends in nursery. When I first came across realising that it takes somebody else taking care of her for a brief time for us to remain stable without all of the screaming and drama, it felt like I was a let down for a mum. We've been inseparable since she was born. But after she turned three, we started getting more and more frustrated with each other. I never have wanted to be a shouty mum, yet I didn't want to be a soft touch, either.
My intentions when she was born was to do all attachment parenting to the fullest extent, and to carry it further. I was going to strictly breastfeed until she self weaned....we succeeded with that one, and she breastfed until 19 months. I wanted to do baby-led weaning...we succeeded with that one, too. She nabbed a roast carrot off a plate at about 6 months old and carried on from there. I'm now getting lovely comments from her nursery that she is an amazing eater, and not the least bit picky (except with cucumbers).
I was going to babywear. Again, we succeeded in that, and she was in a sling until just before she turned three. We did briefly own a stroller in May, but that was because we couldn't expect her to walk all over London for three days, and my back and hips can't handle the extra weight any more. Freecycle is a good thing...we were gifted a lovely little stroller, and as soon as we were finished with it, we gifted it on to another family. (to find your own local Freecycle network, go to www.freecycle.org )
I was going to do home schooling. This is where we have tripped up. When things went wrong when she was 10 months old, I had to go onto government benefits. Home school curriculums are quite expensive, on top of I would have to be looking for work when she turns 7. To be completely honest, we can't afford for me to continue to be on benefits. We currently survive by me keeping very strictly budgeted. If we want something, I have to be able to work it in or we don't get it. Another issue is socialisation. I struggled to even take her to mother and toddler groups. I think it's such an artificial environment, and so political. Yes, I said political. I have a couple of really awesome friends that I met through those various groups that we used to attend, but they are the exception rather than the rule. The rule is referred to, if you've not heard of it before, the Baby Olympics. Everybody is constantly judging you and your child. And when you're going to a general public mother and toddler group with any sort of alternative opinion, well, you will be judged to be beneath them. Let's see...Pagan, attachment parenting (which goes against the mass marketed books that they all have to use as gospel), not from the area (obvious by my harsher accent), etc. You get the picture. So, if I can't cope with a group like that, how am I going to be able to put us forward to the inclusive home school groups of the city?
On top of all of that, it is just now the Imp and I. Sometimes, we can go a fortnight without any adult contact outside of popping to the shop, which doesn't count. As she's started coming into self-realisation, we started clashing more and more. I was becoming Shouty and Really Angry Mum, because we're both as stubborn as each other. And in the lifetime that I get a job, what would happen then?
When she turned three, I came to the realisation that we needed some time apart. I don't mean shipping her off. I mean just a few hours a day that we can do our own thing. It probably sounds like I'm talking about a teenager, but one big thing for me is to acknowledge that even a three year old has a mind of their own. They are humans within their own right, with opinions, feelings, thoughts, and views. We work really well together when we're both respecting each other. If I'm just shouting, I'm not listening, and it works the same in the other direction. I did a lot of research, and found a nursery that was a perfect fit for both of us. They are very child-led, without talking down to her, and encourage a lot of independence. The Imp adores it. Last week was the first three days that she's spent the whole day there. She comes home extremely tired, but laughing and giggling. She adores her teacher, and she has a circle of friends.
Given this, and starting to research primary schools, I no longer feel the guilt of not being able to home school. I think that the Imp is so much happier with this decision. That's what the point actually is...she is happy. I am happy, as well. I now have the opportunity to take a course to prepare me for university properly...I went to university straight after High School, but I don't think that I was properly prepared, and I bombed out. I'm now 35. I have finally decided what I want to do, and a career that I actually want to do, for me. It wasn't an opportunity that I've had in the past. In the future, it will give both of us a lot better quality of life, and more opportunities.
I apologise for being so slim on the ground for posts, and it might take me another week or two to get back into a routine, but I am still here :)
Mel
I guess a bit of an update. The Imp and I are back to being a team again now that we're having some time apart. The three days that I'm in college, she spends in nursery. When I first came across realising that it takes somebody else taking care of her for a brief time for us to remain stable without all of the screaming and drama, it felt like I was a let down for a mum. We've been inseparable since she was born. But after she turned three, we started getting more and more frustrated with each other. I never have wanted to be a shouty mum, yet I didn't want to be a soft touch, either.
My intentions when she was born was to do all attachment parenting to the fullest extent, and to carry it further. I was going to strictly breastfeed until she self weaned....we succeeded with that one, and she breastfed until 19 months. I wanted to do baby-led weaning...we succeeded with that one, too. She nabbed a roast carrot off a plate at about 6 months old and carried on from there. I'm now getting lovely comments from her nursery that she is an amazing eater, and not the least bit picky (except with cucumbers).
I was going to babywear. Again, we succeeded in that, and she was in a sling until just before she turned three. We did briefly own a stroller in May, but that was because we couldn't expect her to walk all over London for three days, and my back and hips can't handle the extra weight any more. Freecycle is a good thing...we were gifted a lovely little stroller, and as soon as we were finished with it, we gifted it on to another family. (to find your own local Freecycle network, go to www.freecycle.org )
I was going to do home schooling. This is where we have tripped up. When things went wrong when she was 10 months old, I had to go onto government benefits. Home school curriculums are quite expensive, on top of I would have to be looking for work when she turns 7. To be completely honest, we can't afford for me to continue to be on benefits. We currently survive by me keeping very strictly budgeted. If we want something, I have to be able to work it in or we don't get it. Another issue is socialisation. I struggled to even take her to mother and toddler groups. I think it's such an artificial environment, and so political. Yes, I said political. I have a couple of really awesome friends that I met through those various groups that we used to attend, but they are the exception rather than the rule. The rule is referred to, if you've not heard of it before, the Baby Olympics. Everybody is constantly judging you and your child. And when you're going to a general public mother and toddler group with any sort of alternative opinion, well, you will be judged to be beneath them. Let's see...Pagan, attachment parenting (which goes against the mass marketed books that they all have to use as gospel), not from the area (obvious by my harsher accent), etc. You get the picture. So, if I can't cope with a group like that, how am I going to be able to put us forward to the inclusive home school groups of the city?
On top of all of that, it is just now the Imp and I. Sometimes, we can go a fortnight without any adult contact outside of popping to the shop, which doesn't count. As she's started coming into self-realisation, we started clashing more and more. I was becoming Shouty and Really Angry Mum, because we're both as stubborn as each other. And in the lifetime that I get a job, what would happen then?
When she turned three, I came to the realisation that we needed some time apart. I don't mean shipping her off. I mean just a few hours a day that we can do our own thing. It probably sounds like I'm talking about a teenager, but one big thing for me is to acknowledge that even a three year old has a mind of their own. They are humans within their own right, with opinions, feelings, thoughts, and views. We work really well together when we're both respecting each other. If I'm just shouting, I'm not listening, and it works the same in the other direction. I did a lot of research, and found a nursery that was a perfect fit for both of us. They are very child-led, without talking down to her, and encourage a lot of independence. The Imp adores it. Last week was the first three days that she's spent the whole day there. She comes home extremely tired, but laughing and giggling. She adores her teacher, and she has a circle of friends.
Given this, and starting to research primary schools, I no longer feel the guilt of not being able to home school. I think that the Imp is so much happier with this decision. That's what the point actually is...she is happy. I am happy, as well. I now have the opportunity to take a course to prepare me for university properly...I went to university straight after High School, but I don't think that I was properly prepared, and I bombed out. I'm now 35. I have finally decided what I want to do, and a career that I actually want to do, for me. It wasn't an opportunity that I've had in the past. In the future, it will give both of us a lot better quality of life, and more opportunities.
I apologise for being so slim on the ground for posts, and it might take me another week or two to get back into a routine, but I am still here :)
Mel
Friday, 26 August 2011
The Desperate Need to Rearrange
Hello, everyone. My name is Mel, and I am admitting to having a problem. I am a serial furniture rearranger.
There...it's out there. I have a need to rearrange furniture. When I was still living with my parents, and when I had more space than I do now, I had to rearrange the furniture every three months or so. I'm sure that I absolutely drove my parents crazy with it. They'd walk into my bedroom and I'll have managed to rotate the entire thing by myself.
I've lived in this house for just over two years, and haven't been able to figure out how to rotate the furniture because of the way that the rooms are laid out. I live in a Victorian two up-two down terrace, and in some areas modernisation has not been its friend. Don't get me wrong, it's a fantastic place, and perfect for just the Imp and I, but I can't move the furniture around. I have gas fires, an alcove with a cupboard built specifically to set a telly on, and a sofa that was gifted to us that only fits along one wall in the living room. The dining room is bigger than the living room, but I can't flip them because there's no place suitable for the telly.
Upstairs is a whole different story. We have a lot of heavy furniture. Some of it's ours, some of it belongs to the landlord. I have four bookcases in my bedroom, alone, that were taking up an entire wall. I have been agonising over this for a long time, because it's really been bothering me. As much as I adore my books, my bedroom just seemed consumed by them. I suffer from insomnia, then my sleep is rubbish, then I don't want to wake up in the morning. The Imp's room was worse...she had three wardrobes and two bookcases, as well as a huge, dark set of drawers, her bed, a wooden doll's house, and the rest of her toys. She rarely actually played up there, and I couldn't figure out why because she still had loads of space (we both have nice sized double bedrooms).
I finally snapped on Monday. I've been slowly having a sort out for the past several months, being harsh with myself and getting rid of things that are just taking up precious space. I couldn't avoid it any more...I had to succumb to my desperate need to move furniture, and our bedrooms are the only place that it could happen. I helped the Imp put all of her toys into their laundry baskets, cleared the bookshelves off, then proceeded to rotate it all. She helped me pick bits up from my bedroom floor and shift books off and on the shelves. In her room, I shifted two bookcases, her bed, a doll's house, and two wardrobes. I added a wardrobe from my bedroom, and swapped her massive bureau with the smaller one from my room. In my room, I shifted four bookcases, a large dressing table, a big telly on a stand. my bed and the nightstand. Even though I've added another wardrobe to her room, the Imp's room feels a lot more spacious and balanced. Yesterday, I hardly saw her because she was actually playing up there...I was shocked, to say the least. Since Monday, she's actually kept her room tidy and helped me make her bed every morning.
The difference in the feel of my room is amazing. I've actually felt the need to go to bed at a decent hour...last night, I was up there within a half hour of tucking the Imp in. I didn't go to sleep straight away, but I relaxed quite nicely with my Kindle and the telly. I'm actually getting a little more rested with the sleep that I have, and I'm not struggling to wake up in the morning. The energy is actually feeling like it has a better balance.
I was chatting with Witchy Kitty yesterday, and the overall energy in my house has been feeling a lot better. Ever since I've moved in here, the house has had it's own special personality. Over the past year, it seemed to have changed, to almost being depressive. The house spirits haven't been very happy with me, and I wasn't seeing it. I was struggling with relations with my friends, my own stress, depression, and loneliness. I've finally managed to work my way out of my own personal funk, though, recently. I finally received the confirmations that my childcare will be funded for my return to college to do the course that I started last year. I've made a definite decision as to what educational path I will be taking. My friends are coming around more often, and we're back to everybody not being so low. And I've made a definite decision to redecorate. The first of the paint will be brought around this weekend, so I can get a start on the living room and dining room, to be followed by the kitchen, bathroom, the Imp's room, and finally my room.
It's almost like the house is happier that I've made some decisions, and that I'm settling within myself. I've always had a deep desire to move about, but since moving into this house, I've felt like a real homebody. It's been a difficult thing to accept, I think. When I was looking at houses, I actually refused this one, because the rooms felt too small and the previous tenants smoked like chimneys. I have had a deep desire to move to the other side of the country to be closer to a friend, but this is the first place in either Indiana or England that has actually felt like my true home. I moved out of my parents' home when I was 20. Counting that move, I have moved around 16 times, including moving back in with my parents, and have been classed as homeless twice. I'll be 35 next month, and I now have a deep desire to stay put. I'd honestly like to be able to understand why it has taken this long for me to find 'home'. I used to want to travel all of the time, and now I rarely ever leave the city. My ideal holiday is going and spending time in Cardiff with my dear friend and her boys for a week.
I've managed to get the furniture shifting out of my system this week, and once I get it all painted, this house will be like new. I'll be restarting college in a week and a half, and I've got everything together and ready. I know where I'm going and what I want to do. I've fully recognised what I need and want mentally and emotionally, and, with the support of my family of friends, I'm almost ready to take the leap to find it.
Mel
Thursday, 4 August 2011
Family Chores
Like everybody else, I dread housework. I even admit to procrastination. I have been doing a lot better about it, but I still have my off days. While we had a few hot days, my kitchen built up a bit because it was too hot and humid for me to stand there. Ok, I know it wasn't as hot here in England as it has been in the States lately, or for as long, but I detest the heat. A beach holiday is my idea of a nightmare.
Since it's been a rainy day today, with a cooler temperature, I couldn't procrastinate on the dishes any more. I didn't realise that I would have assistance, though. The Imp, at 3 1/2, decided that she wanted to help, so grabbed her own tea towel and started drying cutlery and putting it away in the drawer. She didn't ask if I wanted help, she just cracked on with it, happily singing her little head off. One thing that it made it me realise is that I need to start cleaning the floor first instead of last, because I caught her spreading the tea towel on the floor, stacking in a pile of utensils, rolling them up, and then carrying it all over to the drawer in a bundle.
It also made me realise how fantastic it is that the Imp and I work so well together as a team. It's just us, and I'm so used to watching parents struggle with their toddlers, especially in the 'terrible twos' and, a term that some of my friends have used, 'Threenager'. Don't get me wrong, we both have our off days, and we're both argumentative, stubborn mules. But we can, and do, work together to keep the house up now. She's fairly reasonable about tidying her toys up (at least downstairs...her bedroom is a bombsite, but I don't care as long as I have a path to her bed).
Sometimes I'll get frustrated at her, but I do get down and help her if she's struggling to get started. That's the whole point...I help her, but I don't do it all. It wouldn't be fair for me to expect her to be able to cope with all of it, and it wouldn't be fair for her to expect me to be her maid. It's all about letting her join in and think it's all her idea. There are certain chores that I ask her specifically to do, like keep her downstairs toys in a reasonable array, and to put them away before bedtime (though I forgot to remind her this evening, so they're all still sitting in the living room). She's responsible for putting her overnight nappy in the bucket in the morning...I don't have to ask on this one. She puts all her dirty clothes in the basket in the bathroom, helps me load the washing machine, and she pegs all our underpants on the lowest part of the outside washing line. But all of it she started on her own. I just have to ask her if she wants to help...sometimes I don't even have to ask, she pushes her way in.
Our team work has panicked people in the past. The Imp has joined me in the kitchen from the start. She spent a lot of her infancy in a sling, watching me cook. Now, the moment that I step into the kitchen, she's up on her step right next to me. A year ago I didn't get the big knife far enough back on the counter, and I walked in to find her with a potato on the chopping board, cutting it into slivers that she said were chips, and putting them in the roasting tin. She hasn't touched the knife since, but she watches me like a hawk with my every movement, and comments (nags at me) on making sure to keep my fingers back because the knife is sharp. When I have the oven door swung open, she stops where she is, or backs away, until I have it shut. All I have to do is tell her I'm opening the 'hot hot'. She's in charge of the vegetable cupboard and refrigerator, including when putting shopping away. I'm not even allowed to touch the fridge. I'd hate to think what it looks like, but she knows where everything is. Her first real words were all regarding cooking and veg.
I see a lot of parents, even of teenagers, that wait on their kids hand and foot. Ok, whatever floats your boat. But I feel that with the Imp learning things young, and learning how to work as a team within a functioning family unit, she'll have a stronger upbringing. I can hope that as an adult, she won't dread the necessary evils of having to do housework. I'm trying to improve my procrastination, so she sees me getting what I don't like to do done before what I enjoy doing. It's a struggle at the moment, but I do promise that I'm improving. Since ditching the dining room table, we're finding the living room and dining room easier to keep up, so it doesn't take us as long to tidy up. It's even quicker with both of us doing it, and more enjoyable. She actually lifts my mood up, because her random singing under her breath is almost constant, really cute, and makes me laugh.
Mel
Since it's been a rainy day today, with a cooler temperature, I couldn't procrastinate on the dishes any more. I didn't realise that I would have assistance, though. The Imp, at 3 1/2, decided that she wanted to help, so grabbed her own tea towel and started drying cutlery and putting it away in the drawer. She didn't ask if I wanted help, she just cracked on with it, happily singing her little head off. One thing that it made it me realise is that I need to start cleaning the floor first instead of last, because I caught her spreading the tea towel on the floor, stacking in a pile of utensils, rolling them up, and then carrying it all over to the drawer in a bundle.
It also made me realise how fantastic it is that the Imp and I work so well together as a team. It's just us, and I'm so used to watching parents struggle with their toddlers, especially in the 'terrible twos' and, a term that some of my friends have used, 'Threenager'. Don't get me wrong, we both have our off days, and we're both argumentative, stubborn mules. But we can, and do, work together to keep the house up now. She's fairly reasonable about tidying her toys up (at least downstairs...her bedroom is a bombsite, but I don't care as long as I have a path to her bed).
Sometimes I'll get frustrated at her, but I do get down and help her if she's struggling to get started. That's the whole point...I help her, but I don't do it all. It wouldn't be fair for me to expect her to be able to cope with all of it, and it wouldn't be fair for her to expect me to be her maid. It's all about letting her join in and think it's all her idea. There are certain chores that I ask her specifically to do, like keep her downstairs toys in a reasonable array, and to put them away before bedtime (though I forgot to remind her this evening, so they're all still sitting in the living room). She's responsible for putting her overnight nappy in the bucket in the morning...I don't have to ask on this one. She puts all her dirty clothes in the basket in the bathroom, helps me load the washing machine, and she pegs all our underpants on the lowest part of the outside washing line. But all of it she started on her own. I just have to ask her if she wants to help...sometimes I don't even have to ask, she pushes her way in.
Our team work has panicked people in the past. The Imp has joined me in the kitchen from the start. She spent a lot of her infancy in a sling, watching me cook. Now, the moment that I step into the kitchen, she's up on her step right next to me. A year ago I didn't get the big knife far enough back on the counter, and I walked in to find her with a potato on the chopping board, cutting it into slivers that she said were chips, and putting them in the roasting tin. She hasn't touched the knife since, but she watches me like a hawk with my every movement, and comments (nags at me) on making sure to keep my fingers back because the knife is sharp. When I have the oven door swung open, she stops where she is, or backs away, until I have it shut. All I have to do is tell her I'm opening the 'hot hot'. She's in charge of the vegetable cupboard and refrigerator, including when putting shopping away. I'm not even allowed to touch the fridge. I'd hate to think what it looks like, but she knows where everything is. Her first real words were all regarding cooking and veg.
I see a lot of parents, even of teenagers, that wait on their kids hand and foot. Ok, whatever floats your boat. But I feel that with the Imp learning things young, and learning how to work as a team within a functioning family unit, she'll have a stronger upbringing. I can hope that as an adult, she won't dread the necessary evils of having to do housework. I'm trying to improve my procrastination, so she sees me getting what I don't like to do done before what I enjoy doing. It's a struggle at the moment, but I do promise that I'm improving. Since ditching the dining room table, we're finding the living room and dining room easier to keep up, so it doesn't take us as long to tidy up. It's even quicker with both of us doing it, and more enjoyable. She actually lifts my mood up, because her random singing under her breath is almost constant, really cute, and makes me laugh.
Mel
Tuesday, 19 July 2011
I don't want to be some average anybody...
What would be the point if we were all the same? I fully admit to being weird and random. I don't want to be the leader, but I also don't want to follow the crowd. I get a bit fed up of a society that expects individuals to all fit in the same box. I can't even go out to a normal shop to buy a plain women's t shirt because they're too short...I'm 5'8, and the average British woman is 5'4. Granted, if I could get away with it, I'd be in Viking or Celtic traditional day wear, at least similar to what preservationists wear. It looks so much more comfortable that our daily clothes. To not be expected to squeeze into a pair of skinny jeans (seriously, that actually isn't likely to happen for me), yourself to be a super-skinny automatons.
I love to read, but not the 'chick-lit' that seems to be so popular. No, try fantasy and science fiction for me, especially high fantasy. I roleplay Dungeons and Dragons, too. At 34. It allows me to socialise with friends, be creative, and relax. I'm extremely random in my musical tastes, and it depends on my mood as to what I'm listening to. My current music ranges on my MP3 player range from Within Temptation, Loreena McKennitt, Lady Gaga, Michael Buble, Train, a few Glee tracks, Josh Groban, and My Chemical Romance.
Being normal it boring, so I choose not to be :)
Here is one of my favourite songs that truly speaks to my randomness..."Counting Airplanes" by Train. I thought I would share it, to go with my mood.
Mel
I love to read, but not the 'chick-lit' that seems to be so popular. No, try fantasy and science fiction for me, especially high fantasy. I roleplay Dungeons and Dragons, too. At 34. It allows me to socialise with friends, be creative, and relax. I'm extremely random in my musical tastes, and it depends on my mood as to what I'm listening to. My current music ranges on my MP3 player range from Within Temptation, Loreena McKennitt, Lady Gaga, Michael Buble, Train, a few Glee tracks, Josh Groban, and My Chemical Romance.
Being normal it boring, so I choose not to be :)
Here is one of my favourite songs that truly speaks to my randomness..."Counting Airplanes" by Train. I thought I would share it, to go with my mood.
Mel
Wednesday, 13 July 2011
Cross Stitch: Wheel of the Year - Week 1
Well, I'm not as far along as I'd like to be, but I had a busy weekend. We had an overnight guest on Saturday night, so it got set in the dining room. Doing that makes it less likely for me to randomly pick my work up and add. But, I am happy with how much I do have done, even amongst some other frustrations.
Frustration 1: I've realised that I miscounted by 2 inches on my waste canvas, on either side. It could be that I didn't actually miscount or mismeasure. I'm using a cross stitch design program that I've not used before, so I could have easily put a figure in wrong. Not a particularly big deal...I have more waste canvas and I can tack more on to the edges when I'm ready for that bit.
Frustration 2: I could really use with a proper embroidery floor stand. I have a 24 inch frame that I am balancing against my laptop stand and arm. Not a real issue, just annoying. At least it lets me multi-task...watch telly, watch Facebook, Twitter, and Google+, and stitch all at once. Hmm...that may be a touch of the reason why I don't have as much done as I'd like. But, I do most of my stitching in the evening, and the social networks are the majority of my social life.
Frustration 3: Energy saving bulbs suck. Even with having the brightest eco bulb available in my living room light, it's way too dim for me. I'm going quite short-sighted and seriously need more light. I finally clicked and realised this evening that my clip light for my Kindle fits quite nicely on the top of my frame. Shame that I can't find the battery charger, because the batteries are all flat, and I can't find the spare set of non-rechargeables that I keep around for just in case. Granted, they probably landed into a remote or something when I couldn't find the spare rechargeables.
I'd normally work on it until midnight, but my eyes are starting to do funny things, so I'd probably better not. I think I'll probably just go veg and watch "Lady Gaga Presents" that I'm recording. I'm pretty sure I'll find the battery charger tomorrow, and having the clip light will make a huge difference to the work I can do after I lose daylight.
Mel
Tuesday, 12 July 2011
Are You Sure?
Most people that know the Imp and I know that at one point she was 6 months behind with her speech. A year ago, we were seeing speech therapists that ended up being a pointless waste of everybody's time because the Imp wasn't interested in them. If they tried to get her to play with what they wanted, she ignored them. If they tried to involve themselves in what she was already playing with, she'd walk off and do something else. She didn't have the vocabulary that was expected for a 2 1/2 year old. But we did realise that her vocabulary did consist of a lot of cooking terms that wouldn't normally be known by a little...we could go shopping and she could point out and say 'garlic' and she also knew that it went into our bolognaisse (she didn't have a word for that, but if I said what we were having she would start getting the ingredients out of the cupboard).
I finally decided to not bother with the speech therapists any more, knowing that she would eventually suss it out. What has actually happened is that she skipped the babbling stage and went straight into clear words, then immediately into sentences when she was ready. In March, it was like a switch had been flicked. She wasn't going to talk until she could say it properly, it seemed. Our relationship has actually improved since she's no longer getting frustrated at me not being able to understand her.
But I think she's skipped another stage...the 'Why' stage. In chatting with her today about dinner, I said 'I think we're going to have eggs for dinner'. The response that I get from her is a phrase that I've heard her say for a couple of days...'Are you sure?'. Well, yes, I am sure that we are going to have eggs for dinner. I forgot to pull meat out of the freezer, and the eggs are sitting on the counter, readily available. Not what you expect your 3 1/2 year old to ask, but I'll go with it. It's a lot easier to answer than 'why?', at least so far.
'Are you sure?' is a question that's commonly asked by a lot of people. 'Are you sure you really want to be doing that?', 'Are you sure that is what you really want?', 'Are you sure that is your final answer?', 'Are you sure that's what you believe?'. Such a broad but simple question, and it can really set you thinking. It reminds you to think things through, to make sure that you're not leaping lightly to a decision. It's ok to have the occasional snap decision, but most things need to have a bit of contemplation. There are steps that need to be taken in your thought process for bigger decisions. I've had a few of those big decisions in my life, and I thoroughly thought my actions through, and followed through with my processes, only to have outsiders ask me 'Are you sure?'.
One of the things that I was ultimately sure about was my decision about religious beliefs. I was raised Christian, and all of my family still are, which is perfect for them. But I found that I was unhappy and questioning a lot of what was being taught. The more I thought about it, the more of a burden of unhappiness it became. When the opportunity arrived to study and research other paths of faith and enlightenment, it was like a a light at the end of a tunnel. I knew in my heart that faith should not be a burden, it should bring you joy, comfort, and support. Sometimes it is a solitary path, but in all actuality you aren't ever actually alone. For me, I always feel the presences of my goddesses and gods, as well as those of my grandmothers, spirit guides, and spirit friends.
So, when the question is raised 'Are you sure?', well, my answer is yes. By the time that I've been asked that question, I'll have already thought through my options, done any research required, and come to my final conclusion. But it's good to double check, whether it's somebody asking, or you asking yourself. Sometimes, you need to reassure yourself. Regarding my faith, yes, I am absolutely positive, and there will be no changing my mind. A long path opened up when I made that decision, and it is the biggest sureties of my life.
As for dinner, I'm liking the Imp asking me 'are you sure?'. It gives me the chance to ask what her opinion is on it, to give her a say in what we're doing or having. Yes, she may only be 3 1/2, but her opinion is just as valid as mine is, and gives her the confidence that she can help.
Mel
P.S. Don't forget to check out my guest post today over at The Pagan Mom Blog!
I finally decided to not bother with the speech therapists any more, knowing that she would eventually suss it out. What has actually happened is that she skipped the babbling stage and went straight into clear words, then immediately into sentences when she was ready. In March, it was like a switch had been flicked. She wasn't going to talk until she could say it properly, it seemed. Our relationship has actually improved since she's no longer getting frustrated at me not being able to understand her.
But I think she's skipped another stage...the 'Why' stage. In chatting with her today about dinner, I said 'I think we're going to have eggs for dinner'. The response that I get from her is a phrase that I've heard her say for a couple of days...'Are you sure?'. Well, yes, I am sure that we are going to have eggs for dinner. I forgot to pull meat out of the freezer, and the eggs are sitting on the counter, readily available. Not what you expect your 3 1/2 year old to ask, but I'll go with it. It's a lot easier to answer than 'why?', at least so far.
'Are you sure?' is a question that's commonly asked by a lot of people. 'Are you sure you really want to be doing that?', 'Are you sure that is what you really want?', 'Are you sure that is your final answer?', 'Are you sure that's what you believe?'. Such a broad but simple question, and it can really set you thinking. It reminds you to think things through, to make sure that you're not leaping lightly to a decision. It's ok to have the occasional snap decision, but most things need to have a bit of contemplation. There are steps that need to be taken in your thought process for bigger decisions. I've had a few of those big decisions in my life, and I thoroughly thought my actions through, and followed through with my processes, only to have outsiders ask me 'Are you sure?'.
One of the things that I was ultimately sure about was my decision about religious beliefs. I was raised Christian, and all of my family still are, which is perfect for them. But I found that I was unhappy and questioning a lot of what was being taught. The more I thought about it, the more of a burden of unhappiness it became. When the opportunity arrived to study and research other paths of faith and enlightenment, it was like a a light at the end of a tunnel. I knew in my heart that faith should not be a burden, it should bring you joy, comfort, and support. Sometimes it is a solitary path, but in all actuality you aren't ever actually alone. For me, I always feel the presences of my goddesses and gods, as well as those of my grandmothers, spirit guides, and spirit friends.
So, when the question is raised 'Are you sure?', well, my answer is yes. By the time that I've been asked that question, I'll have already thought through my options, done any research required, and come to my final conclusion. But it's good to double check, whether it's somebody asking, or you asking yourself. Sometimes, you need to reassure yourself. Regarding my faith, yes, I am absolutely positive, and there will be no changing my mind. A long path opened up when I made that decision, and it is the biggest sureties of my life.
As for dinner, I'm liking the Imp asking me 'are you sure?'. It gives me the chance to ask what her opinion is on it, to give her a say in what we're doing or having. Yes, she may only be 3 1/2, but her opinion is just as valid as mine is, and gives her the confidence that she can help.
Mel
P.S. Don't forget to check out my guest post today over at The Pagan Mom Blog!
Tuesday, 5 July 2011
Luxury
I've just spent the last hour catching up on one of the programs that I recorded off the satellite, "Guilty Pleasures: Luxury in the Middle Ages" that was on BBC4 yesterday evening. Last week was an episode on ancient luxuries. Also during my viewing, a discussion started on one of my Facebook groups about what we would do if we were to win the huge £166 million on the Euromillions lottery this coming Friday. I didn't have to actually think about it, because when you're as skint as I am, the 'what-ifs' are regularly circulate in your head.
Granted, I'd have to actually play the lottery to win it, but what would I do with £166million? A lot, actually. There's no question that my debts would be paid in full the moment the money hit the bank. All three of my kids would have a trust fund set up for them, not to be accessed until they are old enough to have been taught the proper responsibility and seriousness that a huge amount of money would require. I'd have a bespoke five or six bedroom home built in some rolling hills, with a huge kitchen, specific craft room, and library, and the open invitation for a couple of my closest friends to join us. On top of that, both sets of my parents, my daughter's grandfather, and my closest friends would be set for life. A huge portion would go to very specific charities. And, finally, I would contemplate carrying on the idea that I had been in a group for in Indianapolis before I emigrated, and that is to open a Pagan community centre dedicated to public education and fellowship. With that amount of money, maybe two of them with a dedicated trust fund that pays to keep them running.
To be honest, I probably wouldn't live in what could be seen as the massive trappings that people would rush in to. Yes, I'd have a new wardrobe of clothing. It would actually be all in the style that I prefer to wear instead of what I have now, which has bits and pieces, but most of my clothes are just what I can barely afford, and beggars can't always be choosers. But I'm not into piles of jewellery and designer labels. I would get my driver's license but probably only have one utilitarian vehicle. I enjoy travelling around the UK, but my serious wanderlust has died down as I've gotten older and I've become a real homebody. Seeming a small amount amongst that huge sum, I would naturalize just so I have the right to vote.
I can definitely say that the Imp will not have everything to her heart's desire. That wouldn't teach her anything. I would still teach her how to keep a budget, just like I keep now. I would still teach her grace, humility, and thankfulness for everything she has. Just as I do now. Yes, we would have better things, but nothing flash. What's the point of advertising? Does that actually do anybody any good? Not really. It's hurtful to those who don't have much, and the pressure would be hard on you with the expectations placed on you.
To be honest, I wouldn't want that much money. I don't need that much. If I were to have a lottery windfall (again, I would have to play to win), I'd be happy with enough to buy us a decent house and enough to put into accounts that would set us up for life of paying our bills and taxes, and keep us comfortable.
Mel
Granted, I'd have to actually play the lottery to win it, but what would I do with £166million? A lot, actually. There's no question that my debts would be paid in full the moment the money hit the bank. All three of my kids would have a trust fund set up for them, not to be accessed until they are old enough to have been taught the proper responsibility and seriousness that a huge amount of money would require. I'd have a bespoke five or six bedroom home built in some rolling hills, with a huge kitchen, specific craft room, and library, and the open invitation for a couple of my closest friends to join us. On top of that, both sets of my parents, my daughter's grandfather, and my closest friends would be set for life. A huge portion would go to very specific charities. And, finally, I would contemplate carrying on the idea that I had been in a group for in Indianapolis before I emigrated, and that is to open a Pagan community centre dedicated to public education and fellowship. With that amount of money, maybe two of them with a dedicated trust fund that pays to keep them running.
To be honest, I probably wouldn't live in what could be seen as the massive trappings that people would rush in to. Yes, I'd have a new wardrobe of clothing. It would actually be all in the style that I prefer to wear instead of what I have now, which has bits and pieces, but most of my clothes are just what I can barely afford, and beggars can't always be choosers. But I'm not into piles of jewellery and designer labels. I would get my driver's license but probably only have one utilitarian vehicle. I enjoy travelling around the UK, but my serious wanderlust has died down as I've gotten older and I've become a real homebody. Seeming a small amount amongst that huge sum, I would naturalize just so I have the right to vote.
I can definitely say that the Imp will not have everything to her heart's desire. That wouldn't teach her anything. I would still teach her how to keep a budget, just like I keep now. I would still teach her grace, humility, and thankfulness for everything she has. Just as I do now. Yes, we would have better things, but nothing flash. What's the point of advertising? Does that actually do anybody any good? Not really. It's hurtful to those who don't have much, and the pressure would be hard on you with the expectations placed on you.
To be honest, I wouldn't want that much money. I don't need that much. If I were to have a lottery windfall (again, I would have to play to win), I'd be happy with enough to buy us a decent house and enough to put into accounts that would set us up for life of paying our bills and taxes, and keep us comfortable.
Mel
Wednesday, 29 June 2011
Zombie Apocalypse? What About the Lost Skills?
Today I finally decided to catch up on my budget spreadsheets. I've been horrible for the past couple of months about keeping it up to date, but because I'm on a fixed income I have to watch every penny and it stresses me out more to not remember exactly what has gone in or out, or how much I will have to survive to the end of the month. So, I cracked the mental whip and balanced it all out. That's after spending all afternoon trying to figure out where £50 went (I forgot to enter a bill that had been paid....oops).
This got me thinking about some of the recent things on the 'end of the world'. From tv series such as 'The Walking Dead' to the current news headlines of the guy who predicted the apocalypse, it's something that you get the range of people...from those who don't give a flying flip to those that are already hiding in their fallout shelters.
I personally don't think that it will be zombies or anything like that. No, I feel like it will be from people taking each other out and destroying the technology, utilities, and supply chains to try to punish each other. Those caught in the crossfire will have to relearn how to survive. A lot of the traditional skills have been lost to all but a very few people. Unless people group off with at least one person who knows how to live off the land, there would be a lot of people starving because they wouldn't be able to feed themselves. Freezing because they don't know how to build a fire. I think that it has been forgotten how to even rely on other people, to share skills.
I actually think that I'd be happier with a simpler world. Ok, so lack of fancy communications systems would be a bit heartbreaking. I admit to my mobile being borderline surgically attached to my hand (especially the new one), and Skype, Facebook, and Twitter allow me to keep in contact with my family in Indiana and Missouri. But life would go back to being simpler. Eat, sleep, protect, and provide for you and your family. But it's not monetary providing. It's identifying your food sources and knowing how to obtain and prepare them safely. There are adults in this world that I doubt would survive without the local takeaway. It's knowing how to sew clothing and necessities. I don't do anything fancy, but I can hand sew and I know how to use my sewing machine without electricity (my first sewing machine when I moved to the UK was an 1868 hand-cranked Singer).
I'd like to think that my friends that live nearby would join up with us, so we could share skills, take care, and protect each other. They are my non-blood family, and I rely so much on them even now.
Ok. so nothing like another of my random posts. I probably shouldn't have fretted so much over my spreadsheets, knowing that it would have worked it's way out. I seriously am not frivolous with spending...not even close to it, because I can't be. There are things that I want, but that gets put aside for what we need. I've now fully admonished myself for not keeping up on my spreadsheet, because I stress less when I've got it up to date and easily accessed.
Mel
This got me thinking about some of the recent things on the 'end of the world'. From tv series such as 'The Walking Dead' to the current news headlines of the guy who predicted the apocalypse, it's something that you get the range of people...from those who don't give a flying flip to those that are already hiding in their fallout shelters.
I personally don't think that it will be zombies or anything like that. No, I feel like it will be from people taking each other out and destroying the technology, utilities, and supply chains to try to punish each other. Those caught in the crossfire will have to relearn how to survive. A lot of the traditional skills have been lost to all but a very few people. Unless people group off with at least one person who knows how to live off the land, there would be a lot of people starving because they wouldn't be able to feed themselves. Freezing because they don't know how to build a fire. I think that it has been forgotten how to even rely on other people, to share skills.
I actually think that I'd be happier with a simpler world. Ok, so lack of fancy communications systems would be a bit heartbreaking. I admit to my mobile being borderline surgically attached to my hand (especially the new one), and Skype, Facebook, and Twitter allow me to keep in contact with my family in Indiana and Missouri. But life would go back to being simpler. Eat, sleep, protect, and provide for you and your family. But it's not monetary providing. It's identifying your food sources and knowing how to obtain and prepare them safely. There are adults in this world that I doubt would survive without the local takeaway. It's knowing how to sew clothing and necessities. I don't do anything fancy, but I can hand sew and I know how to use my sewing machine without electricity (my first sewing machine when I moved to the UK was an 1868 hand-cranked Singer).
I'd like to think that my friends that live nearby would join up with us, so we could share skills, take care, and protect each other. They are my non-blood family, and I rely so much on them even now.
Ok. so nothing like another of my random posts. I probably shouldn't have fretted so much over my spreadsheets, knowing that it would have worked it's way out. I seriously am not frivolous with spending...not even close to it, because I can't be. There are things that I want, but that gets put aside for what we need. I've now fully admonished myself for not keeping up on my spreadsheet, because I stress less when I've got it up to date and easily accessed.
Mel
A bit of a hit...
Apologies for the sudden onslaught of transfers from my old blog tonight. I was just going to start transferring the recipes themselves, but realised that the beginning couple of posts were a good opening to introduce what I was thinking 2 1/2 years ago.
Not a lot has been going on here. The sparkling (way too hot and humid for me) weather here in the UK this weekend finally allowed me to weed the garden for the first time in almost a fortnight. I love the energy that my few veg share when I'm helping them out. I am grateful, though, that the temperature came down quickly, because it was making the Imp poorly (hayfever sucks).
I may not like the hot weather...the thought of a beach holiday is my idea of a nightmare...but I do appreciate the need for it, and for the different cycles of weather. I think that is one thing that gets forgotten by most people: the need for the different weather. I'm personally on the fence about the issue surrounding global warming, because I do feel that it all works it's way around. But even though I don't like the hot weather, I am grateful for the energy and life that it gives, along with the rainy days.
I'm always thinking of a saying that I grew up hearing in Indiana, and they say the exact same thing here in the UK: "If you don't like the weather, wait 5 minutes and it will change for you". To be honest, with the off day that the Imp and I had today, it works for toddlers, as well. :P
Mel
Not a lot has been going on here. The sparkling (way too hot and humid for me) weather here in the UK this weekend finally allowed me to weed the garden for the first time in almost a fortnight. I love the energy that my few veg share when I'm helping them out. I am grateful, though, that the temperature came down quickly, because it was making the Imp poorly (hayfever sucks).
I may not like the hot weather...the thought of a beach holiday is my idea of a nightmare...but I do appreciate the need for it, and for the different cycles of weather. I think that is one thing that gets forgotten by most people: the need for the different weather. I'm personally on the fence about the issue surrounding global warming, because I do feel that it all works it's way around. But even though I don't like the hot weather, I am grateful for the energy and life that it gives, along with the rainy days.
I'm always thinking of a saying that I grew up hearing in Indiana, and they say the exact same thing here in the UK: "If you don't like the weather, wait 5 minutes and it will change for you". To be honest, with the off day that the Imp and I had today, it works for toddlers, as well. :P
Mel
Friday, 10 June 2011
Motivation and Organisation
To my closest friends, they know that I have my moments. I seem to be super organised, with everything all prepared ahead of time. Unfortunately I'm not always like that. I constantly have plans and ideas for improvement going through my head, but it doesn't always happen, or takes forever for me to get it actioned. I fully admit that I have issues with motivation. I naturally sit on the borderline of depression, as most of us do, and when I'm having a low time I don't want to do anything. I'm just not in the mood, and I don't see the point.
Unfortunately, being disorganised on the outside, i.e. my house being a bombsite, doesn't help my mental organisation. It probably doesn't help yours, either. Not being able to find anything drives me crazy. Everything piled up on the dining table, and around it, makes me feel like everything is starting to close me in. When everything is tidy, I find myself more motivated for having people around to visit, for working on projects that have been in the pipeline, and for celebrating my deities with rituals and card readings. I've now hit the bottom of my low, and I'm ready to climb back up and get myself sorted out again. For me, a tidy home is a happy home. Or, at least it's a happier me...the Imp doesn't care as long as she can get to her cars, books, and drawing materials.
I have a plan, and I have help. I may not agree with a lot of her views or ideas, but I do have to admit that Time Warp Wife has an excellent housekeeping schedule that appeals to my levels of organisation. It breaks down everything into individual and bite-sized segments that make keeping on top of things easier. I'm getting ready to print it myself, but just to warn you, it's six to seven pages. I'm going to stick those pages on the back of the kitchen door, to keep myself motivated, and to double check what needs to be done daily. She also has printable monthly calendars, if that makes any difference to you. One of the things about housework that really puts me off is that it can seem like a huge and overwhelming task, and being a single mum, I'm the only one that can do it. Don't get me wrong, the Imp does have her tasks, but sometimes she can be a right little hindrance with creating a tornado behind what I've already completed. The last time that I hoovered, she had stuff all over the floor within ten minutes. At the moment, until the end of the school term in July, I have three hours while she's in nursery. So, that's about 2 1/2 hours of time at home that I can focus on getting sorted or working on projects.
But TWW breaks it down so it's not overwhelming. Her schedule is just focusing on basic housekeeping, not meal planning and personal care. There are specific tasks to be done every day...make your bed (seriously...this hardly takes any time), do at least one load of laundry, wash the dishes and make sure they're put away before you go to bed, tidy, dejunk, and have a journal.
For me, to make both mine and the Imp's beds takes about five minutes. That's not a big deal. Laundry, well, my biggest problem is that I need to fold and put things away. Laundry is regularly caught up, I'm just really bad about dumping it either in the dining room or my room. Dishes are another problem area for me, so I need to get that in hand. It maybe takes me twenty minutes, so when I view it that way I need to suck it up.
Tidying won't be an issue once I take the time to get it to rights in the first place. That's tied in with my dejunking. Before my parents visiting, I managed to get rid of a lot of things. I had to be quite harsh with myself. When was the last time that I fit in those trousers? Five years ago? Ok, in the lifetime that I'm that size again, they will be extremely out of fashion, so I need to get rid of them. Do I really need that item that I haven't touched in a year or two? Is it something that I really need to keep around? Does a friend have one that I might be able to briefly borrow when I actually do need it? I still have a lot that needs to be dejunked because I'm an admitted packrat. One item that I'm seriously contemplating about, at the moment, is my dining room table. I think I'm the only one of my friends that has one, and it hardly gets used. The only time that it is used is when everybody is around for a proper meal, and that doesn't happen often. I'm thinking about getting rid of the dining table because it takes up so much space and is a target for junk to pile up. The Imp and I use padded trays to eat off of in the living room, and I could feasibly get some more for when guests come around. The Imp has pretty good table manners, for a 3 1/2 year old, when we're out in public, and just the two of us sitting at a table that seats six just feels cold and impersonal. Getting rid of the table will give her more space to play, and maybe allow me to create an organised space for my craft supplies (which are currently stuffed and scattered all over the house, and I can never find what I want).
As for keeping a journal, that's why I've started this blog :P
I do try to encourage the Imp to help, but she sometimes has the attention span of a goldfish, as most three year olds do. But she has jobs that she's started on her own, and I encourage them strongly. She fills the cat food bowls when she gets home from nursery. When reminded, she puts her dirty washing in the basket in the bathroom. I have some of the clothes line strung at her height, so she pegs out all of our knickers, socks, and some of her clothes (I just don't look at it, because it's not like how I do it. She is trying, so I must keep my OCD to myself). When we've been shopping, she puts the fruit and veg away, and most of the items that go into the refrigerator. She helps me tidy her toys away. When it's time to make dinner, she helps by bringing onions, potatoes, and anything out of the fridge. It may be little things, but those little things can make a huge difference, and has helped with her communication and vocabulary skills. When she was going to speech therapy, they couldn't figure out why she wasn't using normal, kiddy basic words until they realised that she knew more cooking words than anything else...at two, she could point out mushrooms, garlic, onions, and lots of other veg. And those words were all clear. One of the speech therapists' thoughts were 'what child knows what garlic is?!?'. Well, that would happen to be my child. Being gluten free, having to cook everything from scratch, and having to have her in the kitchen so I can keep an eye on her, well, she's going to learn by example.
One of my personal tips is to make the time to plan your shopping. Most of the time, I do my main shopping for a month. Because I don't drive, I try to plan it in time to have it delivered...for the main shop that I use, Tuesday and Wednesday are their cheap delivery days, and the cost of delivery is the same as me buying a Dayrider bus ticket. I start off by making a written list of what I'm going to need for the month. I then input it into a price comparison site. My site of choice is mysupermarket.co.uk. Something that I've realised is that not all of the offers are on there, so, once it shows me which shop will be cheaper, I go to that shop's proper website to double check all of the offers and finalise my shop and delivery. It may seem convoluted and awkward, but I save anywhere from £10 to £30 by doing this. I try to do it so that over the remainder of the month I only really need to get fresh fruit and veg. Some people would say milk, but the Imp has goats milk, and we get it in the UHT boxes.
I know full well that I will feel much better once my house is back to rights, and now I've just about got the motivation to do it. Once my kitchen is back to rights, I'll be more motivated to get back to creative cooking, and making our own treats, which I haven't been in the mood for. Once I get everything else sorted, I won't feel so guilty when I stop to work on crafts or read my Kindle. I'll also be clearer to write the ritual that I desire to write for Lughnassahd, and maybe plan a feast for that and other upcoming celebrations.
Mel
Unfortunately, being disorganised on the outside, i.e. my house being a bombsite, doesn't help my mental organisation. It probably doesn't help yours, either. Not being able to find anything drives me crazy. Everything piled up on the dining table, and around it, makes me feel like everything is starting to close me in. When everything is tidy, I find myself more motivated for having people around to visit, for working on projects that have been in the pipeline, and for celebrating my deities with rituals and card readings. I've now hit the bottom of my low, and I'm ready to climb back up and get myself sorted out again. For me, a tidy home is a happy home. Or, at least it's a happier me...the Imp doesn't care as long as she can get to her cars, books, and drawing materials.
I have a plan, and I have help. I may not agree with a lot of her views or ideas, but I do have to admit that Time Warp Wife has an excellent housekeeping schedule that appeals to my levels of organisation. It breaks down everything into individual and bite-sized segments that make keeping on top of things easier. I'm getting ready to print it myself, but just to warn you, it's six to seven pages. I'm going to stick those pages on the back of the kitchen door, to keep myself motivated, and to double check what needs to be done daily. She also has printable monthly calendars, if that makes any difference to you. One of the things about housework that really puts me off is that it can seem like a huge and overwhelming task, and being a single mum, I'm the only one that can do it. Don't get me wrong, the Imp does have her tasks, but sometimes she can be a right little hindrance with creating a tornado behind what I've already completed. The last time that I hoovered, she had stuff all over the floor within ten minutes. At the moment, until the end of the school term in July, I have three hours while she's in nursery. So, that's about 2 1/2 hours of time at home that I can focus on getting sorted or working on projects.
But TWW breaks it down so it's not overwhelming. Her schedule is just focusing on basic housekeeping, not meal planning and personal care. There are specific tasks to be done every day...make your bed (seriously...this hardly takes any time), do at least one load of laundry, wash the dishes and make sure they're put away before you go to bed, tidy, dejunk, and have a journal.
For me, to make both mine and the Imp's beds takes about five minutes. That's not a big deal. Laundry, well, my biggest problem is that I need to fold and put things away. Laundry is regularly caught up, I'm just really bad about dumping it either in the dining room or my room. Dishes are another problem area for me, so I need to get that in hand. It maybe takes me twenty minutes, so when I view it that way I need to suck it up.
Tidying won't be an issue once I take the time to get it to rights in the first place. That's tied in with my dejunking. Before my parents visiting, I managed to get rid of a lot of things. I had to be quite harsh with myself. When was the last time that I fit in those trousers? Five years ago? Ok, in the lifetime that I'm that size again, they will be extremely out of fashion, so I need to get rid of them. Do I really need that item that I haven't touched in a year or two? Is it something that I really need to keep around? Does a friend have one that I might be able to briefly borrow when I actually do need it? I still have a lot that needs to be dejunked because I'm an admitted packrat. One item that I'm seriously contemplating about, at the moment, is my dining room table. I think I'm the only one of my friends that has one, and it hardly gets used. The only time that it is used is when everybody is around for a proper meal, and that doesn't happen often. I'm thinking about getting rid of the dining table because it takes up so much space and is a target for junk to pile up. The Imp and I use padded trays to eat off of in the living room, and I could feasibly get some more for when guests come around. The Imp has pretty good table manners, for a 3 1/2 year old, when we're out in public, and just the two of us sitting at a table that seats six just feels cold and impersonal. Getting rid of the table will give her more space to play, and maybe allow me to create an organised space for my craft supplies (which are currently stuffed and scattered all over the house, and I can never find what I want).
As for keeping a journal, that's why I've started this blog :P
I do try to encourage the Imp to help, but she sometimes has the attention span of a goldfish, as most three year olds do. But she has jobs that she's started on her own, and I encourage them strongly. She fills the cat food bowls when she gets home from nursery. When reminded, she puts her dirty washing in the basket in the bathroom. I have some of the clothes line strung at her height, so she pegs out all of our knickers, socks, and some of her clothes (I just don't look at it, because it's not like how I do it. She is trying, so I must keep my OCD to myself). When we've been shopping, she puts the fruit and veg away, and most of the items that go into the refrigerator. She helps me tidy her toys away. When it's time to make dinner, she helps by bringing onions, potatoes, and anything out of the fridge. It may be little things, but those little things can make a huge difference, and has helped with her communication and vocabulary skills. When she was going to speech therapy, they couldn't figure out why she wasn't using normal, kiddy basic words until they realised that she knew more cooking words than anything else...at two, she could point out mushrooms, garlic, onions, and lots of other veg. And those words were all clear. One of the speech therapists' thoughts were 'what child knows what garlic is?!?'. Well, that would happen to be my child. Being gluten free, having to cook everything from scratch, and having to have her in the kitchen so I can keep an eye on her, well, she's going to learn by example.
One of my personal tips is to make the time to plan your shopping. Most of the time, I do my main shopping for a month. Because I don't drive, I try to plan it in time to have it delivered...for the main shop that I use, Tuesday and Wednesday are their cheap delivery days, and the cost of delivery is the same as me buying a Dayrider bus ticket. I start off by making a written list of what I'm going to need for the month. I then input it into a price comparison site. My site of choice is mysupermarket.co.uk. Something that I've realised is that not all of the offers are on there, so, once it shows me which shop will be cheaper, I go to that shop's proper website to double check all of the offers and finalise my shop and delivery. It may seem convoluted and awkward, but I save anywhere from £10 to £30 by doing this. I try to do it so that over the remainder of the month I only really need to get fresh fruit and veg. Some people would say milk, but the Imp has goats milk, and we get it in the UHT boxes.
I know full well that I will feel much better once my house is back to rights, and now I've just about got the motivation to do it. Once my kitchen is back to rights, I'll be more motivated to get back to creative cooking, and making our own treats, which I haven't been in the mood for. Once I get everything else sorted, I won't feel so guilty when I stop to work on crafts or read my Kindle. I'll also be clearer to write the ritual that I desire to write for Lughnassahd, and maybe plan a feast for that and other upcoming celebrations.
Mel
Tuesday, 31 May 2011
Nothing much to say today...
I really want to try to keep up with posting every day, but I'm sure that I'll have the occasional evening like tonight where I'm just worn out and brain-fried. In my book, I've not really done much today but I'm wiped.
The Imp has been fantastic. She had an appointment at her nursery for a photographer, and she actually let me do her hair without a fight. Shame her hair laughed at the curling iron. I had a lovely image in my head of what I wanted her hair to look like...with some big, loose curls. Instead, it looked like I had used straighteners. She was thrilled, either way, with her 'princess hair'. She's been in a fantastic mood all day. She sat still and had a huge, gorgeous smile for the photographer, had an hour of playing with the other girls, then sat and had a huge smile for the group photo. I give the nursery serious props for managing to wrangle almost 40 under 5 year olds in under 15 minutes for a photograph together, and most of them were actually looking forward. After a lunch of chips at home, she decided that she wanted a nap. She's three...how many three year olds do you know decide that they're ready for a rest? She must have been picking up on me flagging, because I was ready for a kip, too. Nothing like an hour snuggled on the sofa to bring around a second wind. She even sorted out the pillows (her hint that I wasn't moving fast enough for us to lay down was her bringing her pillows off her bed and putting them on the sofa herself).
It gave us the energy to go out to the back garden to work some more on the weeds. My intention was to just plant the sweetcorn plants that I bought for 10p a piece at the market. We ended up working with our 89 year old neighbour to get rid of the thistle in the path between, bagging up the steadily grown mound of dead weeds from our garden, weeding the bit of veg patch that I do have planted, thinning out the lettuce and tomato plants that have gotten insane. I truly didn't expect to be out there for that long, but I think that after a weekend of rain, I needed the energy from the sun. And I find putting plants into the soil to be rather cathartic. Shame the same can't be said about the weeding, which there is a lot more to do before I get the remainder of the seeds out that I wanted out a month ago.
Well, with it being the school half-term, I'll have the Imp's assistance all week, that we can spend some of it gardening. She's rather good at weed pulling (at least in the main part of the garden...she presented me with a beetroot seedling today :S ), and we could both use more time outside. It'll also be excellent time to clearly think through for a better post tomorrow.
It does make me feel all tingly that on many of my low-energy days, the Imp can be so thoughtful, even at such a tender age. Today, she's occasionally asked me 'Are you happy, mummy?', which was a first. You don't expect it from your toddler. It's even better when she follows it with a beaming smile when you tell her yes and a huge hug. It does make for a fantastic day, to be honest. It makes me so proud of her, and glad that I chose a gentle path to raise her on, and that we've had 3 1/2 years of close attachment, that will continue so she can keep learning by the examples of her elders. It makes me just as glad that the elders that she has the most contact with set such a strong and understanding example for her.
Mel
The Imp has been fantastic. She had an appointment at her nursery for a photographer, and she actually let me do her hair without a fight. Shame her hair laughed at the curling iron. I had a lovely image in my head of what I wanted her hair to look like...with some big, loose curls. Instead, it looked like I had used straighteners. She was thrilled, either way, with her 'princess hair'. She's been in a fantastic mood all day. She sat still and had a huge, gorgeous smile for the photographer, had an hour of playing with the other girls, then sat and had a huge smile for the group photo. I give the nursery serious props for managing to wrangle almost 40 under 5 year olds in under 15 minutes for a photograph together, and most of them were actually looking forward. After a lunch of chips at home, she decided that she wanted a nap. She's three...how many three year olds do you know decide that they're ready for a rest? She must have been picking up on me flagging, because I was ready for a kip, too. Nothing like an hour snuggled on the sofa to bring around a second wind. She even sorted out the pillows (her hint that I wasn't moving fast enough for us to lay down was her bringing her pillows off her bed and putting them on the sofa herself).
It gave us the energy to go out to the back garden to work some more on the weeds. My intention was to just plant the sweetcorn plants that I bought for 10p a piece at the market. We ended up working with our 89 year old neighbour to get rid of the thistle in the path between, bagging up the steadily grown mound of dead weeds from our garden, weeding the bit of veg patch that I do have planted, thinning out the lettuce and tomato plants that have gotten insane. I truly didn't expect to be out there for that long, but I think that after a weekend of rain, I needed the energy from the sun. And I find putting plants into the soil to be rather cathartic. Shame the same can't be said about the weeding, which there is a lot more to do before I get the remainder of the seeds out that I wanted out a month ago.
Well, with it being the school half-term, I'll have the Imp's assistance all week, that we can spend some of it gardening. She's rather good at weed pulling (at least in the main part of the garden...she presented me with a beetroot seedling today :S ), and we could both use more time outside. It'll also be excellent time to clearly think through for a better post tomorrow.
It does make me feel all tingly that on many of my low-energy days, the Imp can be so thoughtful, even at such a tender age. Today, she's occasionally asked me 'Are you happy, mummy?', which was a first. You don't expect it from your toddler. It's even better when she follows it with a beaming smile when you tell her yes and a huge hug. It does make for a fantastic day, to be honest. It makes me so proud of her, and glad that I chose a gentle path to raise her on, and that we've had 3 1/2 years of close attachment, that will continue so she can keep learning by the examples of her elders. It makes me just as glad that the elders that she has the most contact with set such a strong and understanding example for her.
Mel
Saturday, 28 May 2011
Random thoughts for the day...
I've had all sorts of random ideas floating around today (and on a regular basis), that I'm sure I'll eventually expand on as individual topics. I figured that this would be a good spot to get them down so I remember.
These are just a few of the ideas that I have been toying with in my brainstorms, along with studying various Gods and Goddesses of different paths, and other religions. Gosh, it sounds like a lot, and I know that more will come up, along with my normal randomness.
Mel
- What are the varying views of the meaning of 'tribe' in modern western society. Is a tribe just as important now as it was with our ancestors? And is it the same as community?
- Views on modern parenting, attachment and discipline
- Personal and Public Celebrations, Ritual, Worship, etc., and why are they necessary?
- The necessity of ritual tools?
- Spirit guides, Angels, and Ghosts
- Health and diet...Modern vs Ancestral (inspired by this post on Fern's Fronds blog)
- The importance of your ancestry on your beliefs and faith
- Raising a child to be independent in a world that wants them to conform
- Crossed pantheons...is it possible to have patron Gods and Goddesses from multiple pantheons, and do they work together?
- The balance of men and women in society, and why it's currently askew
- Why handicrafts are being lost, but how necessary they are
- Women in Heathenry
These are just a few of the ideas that I have been toying with in my brainstorms, along with studying various Gods and Goddesses of different paths, and other religions. Gosh, it sounds like a lot, and I know that more will come up, along with my normal randomness.
Mel
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