I haven't forgotten...

I do promise, I haven't forgotten about my blog. This was my first proper full week in college, and I'm trying to get back into a routine that hasn't existed for months. Instead of getting up at 9am, as I normally would, we're having to get up at 6am. It's a bit of a shock to the system when you're not a natural morning person in the first place. I used to always function at my best when I could stay up until 4am, and sleep until noon, but that doesn't work when you have a child.

I guess a bit of an update. The Imp and I are back to being a team again now that we're having some time apart. The three days that I'm in college, she spends in nursery. When I first came across realising that it takes somebody else taking care of her for a brief time for us to remain stable without all of the screaming and drama, it felt like I was a let down for a mum. We've been inseparable since she was born. But after she turned three, we started getting more and more frustrated with each other. I never have wanted to be a shouty mum, yet I didn't want to be a soft touch, either.

My intentions when she was born was to do all attachment parenting to the fullest extent, and to carry it further. I was going to strictly breastfeed until she self weaned....we succeeded with that one, and she breastfed until 19 months. I wanted to do baby-led weaning...we succeeded with that one, too. She nabbed a roast carrot off a plate at about 6 months old and carried on from there. I'm now getting lovely comments from her nursery that she is an amazing eater, and not the least bit picky (except with cucumbers).

I was going to babywear. Again, we succeeded in that, and she was in a sling until just before she turned three. We did briefly own a stroller in May, but that was because we couldn't expect her to walk all over London for three days, and my back and hips can't handle the extra weight any more. Freecycle is a good thing...we were gifted a lovely little stroller, and as soon as we were finished with it, we gifted it on to another family. (to find your own local Freecycle network, go to www.freecycle.org )

I was going to do home schooling. This is where we have tripped up. When things went wrong when she was 10 months old, I had to go onto government benefits. Home school curriculums are quite expensive, on top of I would have to be looking for work when she turns 7. To be completely honest, we can't afford for me to continue to be on benefits. We currently survive by me keeping very strictly budgeted. If we want something, I have to be able to work it in or we don't get it. Another issue is socialisation. I struggled to even take her to mother and toddler groups. I think it's such an artificial environment, and so political. Yes, I said political. I have a couple of really awesome friends that I met through those various groups that we used to attend, but they are the exception rather than the rule. The rule is referred to, if you've not heard of it before, the Baby Olympics. Everybody is constantly judging you and your child. And when you're going to a general public mother and toddler group with any sort of alternative opinion, well, you will be judged to be beneath them. Let's see...Pagan, attachment parenting (which goes against the mass marketed books that they all have to use as gospel), not from the area (obvious by my harsher accent), etc. You get the picture. So, if I can't cope with a group like that, how am I going to be able to put us forward to the inclusive home school groups of the city?

On top of all of that, it is just now the Imp and I. Sometimes, we can go a fortnight without any adult contact outside of popping to the shop, which doesn't count. As she's started coming into self-realisation, we started clashing more and more. I was becoming Shouty and Really Angry Mum, because we're both as stubborn as each other. And in the lifetime that I get a job, what would happen then?

When she turned three, I came to the realisation that we needed some time apart. I don't mean shipping her off. I mean just a few hours a day that we can do our own thing. It probably sounds like I'm talking about a teenager, but one big thing for me is to acknowledge that even a three year old has a mind of their own. They are humans within their own right, with opinions, feelings, thoughts, and views. We work really well together when we're both respecting each other. If I'm just shouting, I'm not listening, and it works the same in the other direction. I did a lot of research, and found a nursery that was a perfect fit for both of us. They are very child-led, without talking down to her, and encourage a lot of independence. The Imp adores it. Last week was the first three days that she's spent the whole day there. She comes home extremely tired, but laughing and giggling. She adores her teacher, and she has a circle of friends.

Given this, and starting to research primary schools, I no longer feel the guilt of not being able to home school.  I think that the Imp is so much happier with this decision. That's what the point actually is...she is happy. I am happy, as well. I now have the opportunity to take a course to prepare me for university properly...I went to university straight after High School, but I don't think that I was properly prepared, and I bombed out. I'm now 35. I have finally decided what I want to do, and a career that I actually want to do, for me. It wasn't an opportunity that I've had in the past. In the future, it will give both of us a lot better quality of life, and more opportunities.

I apologise for being so slim on the ground for posts, and it might take me another week or two to get back into a routine, but I am still here :)

Mel

Joy Pockets 120911

I apologise that it's been a fortnight since I've done my Joy Pockets, but it has been so super busy with getting back to college, and last Monday was a particularly rough day for us. But, here we go. I hope to be back to my normal posting self within the next week or two, once I'm into a better routine.

• The hints of autumn arriving. The leaves just starting to change, the arrival of blustery winds, and the chance that the weather isn't likely to go over-warm again for a while.
• Tied in to the weather, the excuse to make beef stew today...nom. I'll post the recipe later this week.
• The Imp being so excited to be able to return to nursery. It's three, super-long days for her, but she adapted straight away.
• Succeeding in sorting out my budget spreadsheets up to June. Ok, this probably sounds really sad, but I actually enjoy doing it because I'm really proud of my spreadsheets.
• Starting back at college, and the excitement of getting into a routine, and having work that makes me think. Oh, you will probably see me posting about my frustration on papers and assignments, but I honestly do enjoy it.

Mel

Cross Stitch: Wheel of the Year - Restart

I'm not going to bother posting a photo today, but I've actually managed to get a couple of hours of stitching this week! It's been a busy week, still, with getting ready to start college (Induction was today), and the Imp...well, the Threenager has seriously struck over the past week and a half (part of the reason that there was no Joy Pockets post this week...on top of me being absolutely wiped out lately).

Tomorrow, my classes aren't going ahead, but the Imp still has a place at nursery. So, after dropping her off at 8am, I will be returning home, doing a quick tidy, putting on my multiple episodes of "Torchwood", and sitting and stitching all day. :)

As for the Imp and nursery, today was the longest that we've been apart since she was born. I was busy today, but tomorrow, I think will be a complete culture shock for me. She's 3 2/3ish, and more than ready to be independent. She loved being there all day, and is looking forward to tomorrow...so much so that she's just brought me her night time nappy without being asked, at 7:15pm. Her hair is in her 'night night braids' (so we don't have to fight with it to brush it in the morning), and she's gone and put her own pyjamas on. I guess that's a hint for me to tuck her in.

Mel

Forest School

I'm going to shock a lot of people. I actually turned my mobile phone off today and left it in my bag in a minibus. It actually isn't surgically attached to the end of my arm, surprise surprise. Today was the Imp's first trip to the Lincolnshire Forest School with her nursery, and they make the first session one that the parents attend so we can have an basic idea of what they will be doing during their eight weeks of attendance starting in September. I'm so grateful for her to be able to have to opportunity, because I worry about her missing out on some of the experiences that I had while growing up...I loved camping and traipsing through the woods but I now don't have as much opportunity to do it, and I know that it will be different here in the UK than it was growing up in the US.  But the whole concept of Forest School...well, wow, I would have killed for the opportunity to be able to do what she will be do at 3 1/2.

She wasn't scared or nervous in the slightest. You would have thought that she belonged there in the woods. They had simple games aimed at their age...searching the ground for 'treasures' to add to a forest crown (a band of green card with a strip of carpet tape that they could stick their 'treasures' to), playing Hide and Seek,  and building fairy houses (the Imp wasn't interested in that, actually). They were also given a lot of time to explore and play to their own whim. The Imp has developed my tendency to wander off (they're going to love that with me not there :P ), and she had no interest in what the others in the group were doing. A lot of them started off quite nervous and wanting to stick by mum. Not the Imp. She marched off without looking back, looking for more 'treasures'. Her best find was the newly-ripened blackberries that were scattered everywhere. She went through every bramble in the area to have a munch. And the first few brambles she stopped to have a chat to them, and I heard her thank one of them after she put a fat berry into her mouth. That's my girl...I'm so proud of her thanking the forest spirits for her treats. She was definitely a girl on a mission for the entire time.

I think that part of the reason why she wasn't really interested in sticking with the group is because the other girls were a bit older (going off to school in a month. The Imp doesn't go for another year), and the boys were a bit younger, so not in her preferred social circle. The other reason is that she has a mind very similar to mine, and she spends a lot of time in her own little world. My auntie used to regularly call me a 'space cadet', and I fully admit that I still am.

But the man that was running the session I think was highly impressed with her. I think he was shocked that she had so much confidence on arrival. But when he asked if any of the kids had spent any time in the woods yet, I was the only one that had raised my hand. The woods behind us are only small, but we do walk through their regularly. We might wander back tomorrow, in fact, to see if we can find enough blackberries to make a pie or crumble. Going back to my last post on Family Chores, I've always encouraged her to have a lot of independence and she's really good at exploration.

The Imp had an amazing time today, and so did I. It was amazing watching her stomp through the woods like she owned them, and finding her amazing 'treasures'. Granted, if you ask her what she did today, all you'll get is an excited 'I got to see Sara!'. Sara is her favourite nursery teacher, and she's not been there since the middle of July, when they had their end of term party.

I'm looking forward to her having more sessions. It's a shame that I won't be joining her, but I look forward to her telling me all about it. I do wish that I had photos of today, but I thought that it would be a good idea to leave my mobile in the mini bus. Part of it was because it was raining off and on, and I've already lost a phone to 'damp damage'. The other part is because I would have likely tripped over trying to snap her every movement when I needed to be able to experience this with her, full on.

Mel