I am not, nor will I ever be a Priestess or Warrior...

And I'm honest with myself about that. It's something that I've struggled to understand about some people within rituals and celebrations. Everything seems to have to be done formally with every group ritual, and there's always got to be a High Priest and/or High Priestess.  And everybody seems to have aspirations that they have to obtain that level. It's the same that I see often within Heathenry, as well. I see a lot, especially the men but I've seen women doing it too, that either claim the status of Warrior, and/or invalidate those that don't seem to be esteemed enough to be a warrior.

What these people seem to forget is that the tribes that they aspire to be like were mixed communities. Not everybody could be a warrior...you needed people that could remain home in the village and maintain daily life. Not all men are suited to be warriors, not all women are suited to running a home. It's just like modern day now. Not everybody was a Druid, Priest, or Priestess. In fact, it tended to be one person that travelled amongst a few villages. The same for medicine women/men and herbalists. Most people may have had a basic knowledge of what was good and bad for you, and could recognise the standard plants near their home. But there was likely to have been only one or two people who had intimate knowledge of medicinal plants and what they could do.

When I started my initial path discoveries within Paganism, there was so much pressure to learn everything, to be everything. To a newbie (some people use the term 'fluffy bunny'), it's all sparkly, new information that you're bombarded with, that you think you have to read all of the books available. As I've grown more within myself, and found more clarity, I've found that isn't true. I've seen some impressive book collections. I have an impressive book collection, but I have an excuse for my collection...I used to own a start-up new age shop. I have a few that people have teased me about owning because they tended to be in the 'fluffy bunny newbie' variety. Yes, well actually they can make good doorstops, to be fair, but it actually is worth a read but you must take what's written with a grain of salt. Make your own conclusions and do further research. Also, work out what actually makes sense to you.

What would my place have been within a tribal community? Well, first off, I'm a mother. I have a duty to raise the next generation with common sense and as much knowledge of the world as I can provide.  I can cook and bake, and I have been know to often have food and munchies of varying degrees for my friends and groups that I've worked with.  I don't do anything spectacularly fancy, but I do things that are simple to do for more than two people that's tasty and enjoyed. To be fair, I have three younger brothers and learned to cook at home for six. Even though it's now just the Imp and I, I struggle not to cook for an army so it's not a big deal if somebody pops around unexpectedly...I'm likely to have enough dinner for them and at least two other people.  I'm also a font for useless information. Well, some of it could be good information. I have a really good long term memory, and in the right circumstances can go into a sort of 'storyteller' mode. That does not mean that I'm meant to be a Bard. I don't particularly care for poetry. I do love music and singing, but can't always remember everything. But when the Imp's granddad asked what was going on within the "Twilight" saga, because he was interested in watching the films but not reading the books (he's a film buff and watches everything), I spent over an hour in 'storyteller' mode and managed to tell him the story of all four books, plus the spinoff book, and I had a sense of accomplishment and excitement at the end of it (along with a dry and sore throat). Ok, that may seem silly to be that knowledgeable and like that series at the age of 34, but for me I don't have to think when reading or watching them...it's like brain candy.

If I had a mind to, I probably could be a High Priestess...I have the energy, mental capacity, and empathy to be able to guide a group. I just don't have the will or desire to. I've had people often in the past that have said that I made a good leader. I prefer to be the person aiding the leader, making sure that they have what's needed to lead efficiently. I do have a bit of interest in herbalism, and many years ago I was starting to slowly learn about it, but I honestly have a memory like a sieve and living in the city I've never had much of an opportunity to learn about plants in the wild.   As for being a warrior...yeah, right. I could defend myself at a push, but I've had no training and my health isn't always 100%.

I am still learning on my path, but I know what I don't fit in. I do have a keen interest in being able to help other people, but have never had the opportunity to train properly. At the moment, I'm only qualified for retail or office work. There's nothing wrong with them except that I personally find them mind numbing. I want to do more. So, I'm going to make a second attempt at returning to college in September, now that I have the maturity to actually study. I did go to a few years of university after high school, but it just didn't seem to be the right time in my life, and everything seemed to just go wrong.  You all will probably get a bit of my whinging about homework and papers starting in September, but I'm looking forward to actually getting through the entire course this time (I started last September, but had to drop in March).

I know what my place is on my path, and it isn't to be a High Priestess or Warrior. But I do have an ever-expanding place within my community. We all have something to teach each other, but we must remember that we can't bombard others with our information unless they ask for it. We can't be pushy about it, either. I didn't think that I had a place as a teacher or storyteller, and fought for a long time against it. But now I find myself blogging, and that it's giving me a new sense of desire. Yes, some of it may be a bit of crazy randomness, but I hope that I'm helping with some useful information for other people. I like sharing my cooking, so putting my recipes on here helps me share with everybody. Sharing my craft work is keeping me motivated to keep it going. And posts like this help me through a thought process and get my opinion out in the open.

Mel

Unfinished Projects and our Path Through Life

For those that don't know me yet, I'm actually quite a crafty person. I can crochet, knit (barely), cross stitch, and hand and machine sew. This week, the bug has bitten me again. I'm desperate to start a cross stitch project that's come into my head, and a new crochet project has caught my desire, as well. 

There's a bit of a problem with starting the cross stitch...I can't find my software to convert the picture that I want to do. I've not seen it in probably three years. OK, easily sorted...order new software from PC World online. Now it's biding out my patience for it to arrive in '3 to 5 days'. I then need to decide how much of what colour of aida, order it, then wait for it's delivery. Having to have patience sucks.

So, I stopped into town yesterday to buy some new wool, and started on my crochet project last night. I managed to get a few rows completed, then disaster struck. I realised that when I found the end in the centre to start with, it was twisted with the opposite end and tangled in clumps. Add on that Loki decided that when the clump came out, it made an ideal kitty pillow. I am quite grateful that he was feeling too lazy to do his normal thing of adding to the tangle. I did have to put my project aside so that I could attempt to detangle everything, ball up the end, and regain sensibility. I spent over an hour and a half, and it's still in a clump of mess on my bedside table. Sigh. Rainy Saturday afternoon, the Imp is playing with her cars and garage in the dining room, ideal time to chill with a bit of craftiness. I'm sure that I'll get the clump sorted today, but it's frustrating.

All of this has made me thing about all of the things that we want or need to do, and we either have to wait longer than expected, or we don't complete them at all. I have other cross stitch and crochet projects in a bag that I've put aside for other things and they then gather dust. I'm the world's biggest procrastinator when it comes to tidying up, and I'd much rather spend time with the Imp. We lack the funds, so all the festivals like the Mercian Gathering, and LARP events that I'd like to try go by the wayside. They would definitely enhance the both of our lives, including our social lives, but it's just not happening. I did have a physical New Age bookshop, but had to walk away from it due to us being kicked out of our home by my ex partner when he chose somebody else. I now have four bookcases full of books in my bedroom that I occasionally list a few on Amazon, when I'm not procrastinating about it.

What roadblocks come across your path that makes you divert and not complete the path you are on? Do you go back and try to finish that path? Do you find out that it may have been the wrong path, and you're new path is the better path?  I'm talking about life in general, as well as your faith. Does your faith keep you on a straight and narrow path, or does it have bends in the road, with the occasional boulder that is placed in the way that makes you a stronger person. 

Which path is better? I guess that would depend on the person. Sometimes that straight and narrow path is what a person can cope with. Sometimes, that straight and narrow is your path, but you've put blinders on so you can't see the diversions that might be the better choices. Granted, those diversions might be the wrong choice, but you will never know until you experience it, and if it's not the correct path, there's always a way back to the right path. 

Maybe there are lots of boulders in your path, that you have to struggle to climb over, or squeeze between to get by. Some people will just give up, stop, and their life becomes a stagnating and vicious circle of depression and unhappiness. For other people, that struggle is their depression, unhappiness and problems of life, but they can see the light on the other side, don't give up, and eventually end up happily following that path again.

We also have to remember that our paths cross and interact with the paths of other people. Their paths are all equally valid. A faith-inspired blog contest has really triggered my thoughts on this. There was some ugliness when one of the other bloggers, who is travelling on a path that forces her to wear blinders, targeted another blogger from another faith, just because their paths are different. Whose path is right, and whose is wrong? It's not for us, as humans, to judge. The judgement will come from the higher powers that sit at the end of our path...the God, Gods, and/or Goddesses. You may not believe in a higher power. That's fine. As long as the path that you follow is the one that at the end you feel like you've truly accomplished something, and that you can look back and see that you've behaved with honour. We can't force others onto our paths. Your path is the one you should be following. There will be paths that run next to each other, but we all encounter different experiences.

I personally came across a fork in the road when I was 17. Did I follow the path that I had been following, that made me feel stagnated, inferior and overall unhappy, or did I follow the new path of discovery that I could see a light at the end? Seventeen years later, and I feel that I chose the correct path...the path of discovery. I have had my boulders through the years...some of them have been some real doozies...but I've always come out at the end with my faith intact, that my Gods and Goddesses are there in full support and comfort.  It wasn't the coldness and arrogance of one overall Supreme Being reminding me on a regular basis that what I did was wrong, and that I am always in the wrong. It was the support network of equals that are always there, with the encouragement that it's not just me and things will get better. My network might not be as mighty, but there is strength in numbers.

This was proven in that blog contest. We might not be a faith that is almighty, but we're there for each other in one big net.

In all of my rambling, I do eventually get to the point. Now, I think I'll stop procrastinating for the day, get a bit of tidying done in my living room (now that I've just received a huge kiss and cuddle from the Imp), and the Imp and I can get that wool untangled. Um, maybe I shouldn't ask the Imp to help me with that...at three, she's likely to enjoy making it worse than it is. But there will be future projects that she can help me with, that I can teach her.  This is just the beginning of her path and, for the moment, it sort of runs parallel to mine until she's big enough to make the decisions for herself.

Mel