The Desperate Need to Rearrange

Hello, everyone. My name is Mel, and I am admitting to having a problem. I am a serial furniture rearranger.

There...it's out there. I have a need to rearrange furniture. When I was still living with my parents, and when I had more space than I do now, I had to rearrange the furniture every three months or so. I'm sure that I absolutely drove my parents crazy with it. They'd walk into my bedroom and I'll have managed to rotate the entire thing by myself.

I've lived in this house for just over two years, and haven't been able to figure out how to rotate the furniture because of the way that the rooms are laid out. I live in a Victorian two up-two down terrace, and in some areas modernisation has not been its friend. Don't get me wrong, it's a fantastic place, and perfect for just the Imp and I, but I can't move the furniture around. I have gas fires, an alcove with a cupboard built specifically to set a telly on, and a sofa that was gifted to us that only fits along one wall in the living room. The dining room is bigger than the living room, but I can't flip them because there's no place suitable for the telly.

Upstairs is a whole different story. We have a lot of heavy furniture. Some of it's ours, some of it belongs to the landlord. I have four bookcases in my bedroom, alone, that were taking up an entire wall. I have been agonising over this for a long time, because it's really been bothering me. As much as I adore my books, my bedroom just seemed consumed by them. I suffer from insomnia, then my sleep is rubbish, then I don't want to wake up in the morning.  The Imp's room was worse...she had three wardrobes and two bookcases, as well as a huge, dark set of drawers, her bed, a wooden doll's house, and the rest of her toys. She rarely actually played up there, and I couldn't figure out why because she still had loads of space (we both have nice sized double bedrooms).

I finally snapped on Monday. I've been slowly having a sort out for the past several months, being harsh with myself and getting rid of things that are just taking up precious space. I couldn't avoid it any more...I had to succumb to my desperate need to move furniture, and our bedrooms are the only place that it could happen. I helped the Imp put all of her toys into their laundry baskets, cleared the bookshelves off, then proceeded to rotate it all. She helped me pick bits up from my bedroom floor and shift books off and on the shelves. In her room, I shifted two bookcases, her bed, a doll's house, and two wardrobes. I added a wardrobe from my bedroom, and swapped her massive bureau with the smaller one from my room. In my room, I shifted four bookcases, a large dressing table, a big telly on a stand. my bed and the nightstand. Even though I've added another wardrobe to her room, the Imp's room feels a lot more spacious and balanced. Yesterday, I hardly saw her because she was actually playing up there...I was shocked, to say the least. Since Monday, she's actually kept her room tidy and helped me make her bed every morning.

The difference in the feel of my room is amazing. I've actually felt the need to go to bed at a decent hour...last night, I was up there within a half hour of tucking the Imp in. I didn't go to sleep straight away, but I relaxed quite nicely with my Kindle and the telly. I'm actually getting a little more rested with the sleep that I have, and I'm not struggling to wake up in the morning. The energy is actually feeling like it has a better balance.

I was chatting with Witchy Kitty yesterday, and the overall energy in my house has been feeling a lot better. Ever since I've moved in here, the house has had it's own special personality. Over the past year, it seemed to have changed, to almost being depressive. The house spirits haven't been very happy with me, and I wasn't seeing it. I was struggling with relations with my friends, my own stress, depression, and loneliness. I've finally managed to work my way out of my own personal funk, though, recently. I finally received the confirmations that my childcare will be funded for my return to college to do the course that I started last year.  I've made a definite decision as to what educational path I will be taking. My friends are coming around more often, and we're back to everybody not being so low. And I've made a definite decision to redecorate. The first of the paint will be brought around this weekend, so I can get a start on the living room and dining room, to be followed by the kitchen, bathroom, the Imp's room, and finally my room.

It's almost like the house is happier that I've made some decisions, and that I'm settling within myself. I've always had a deep desire to move about, but since moving into this house, I've felt like a real homebody. It's been a difficult thing to accept, I think. When I was looking at houses, I actually refused this one, because the rooms felt too small and the previous tenants smoked like chimneys. I have had a deep desire to move to the other side of the country to be closer to a friend, but this is the first place in either Indiana or England that has actually felt like my true home. I moved out of my parents' home when I was 20. Counting that move, I have moved around 16 times, including moving back in with my parents, and have been classed as homeless twice. I'll be 35 next month, and I now have a deep desire to stay put. I'd honestly like to be able to understand why it has taken this long for me to find 'home'. I used to want to travel all of the time, and now I rarely ever leave the city. My ideal holiday is going and spending time in Cardiff with my dear friend and her boys for a week.

I've managed to get the furniture shifting out of my system this week, and once I get it all painted, this house will be like new. I'll be restarting college in a week and a half, and I've got everything together and ready. I know where I'm going and what I want to do. I've fully recognised what I need and want mentally and emotionally, and, with the support of my family of friends, I'm almost ready to take the leap to find it.

Mel

Unfinished Projects and our Path Through Life

For those that don't know me yet, I'm actually quite a crafty person. I can crochet, knit (barely), cross stitch, and hand and machine sew. This week, the bug has bitten me again. I'm desperate to start a cross stitch project that's come into my head, and a new crochet project has caught my desire, as well. 

There's a bit of a problem with starting the cross stitch...I can't find my software to convert the picture that I want to do. I've not seen it in probably three years. OK, easily sorted...order new software from PC World online. Now it's biding out my patience for it to arrive in '3 to 5 days'. I then need to decide how much of what colour of aida, order it, then wait for it's delivery. Having to have patience sucks.

So, I stopped into town yesterday to buy some new wool, and started on my crochet project last night. I managed to get a few rows completed, then disaster struck. I realised that when I found the end in the centre to start with, it was twisted with the opposite end and tangled in clumps. Add on that Loki decided that when the clump came out, it made an ideal kitty pillow. I am quite grateful that he was feeling too lazy to do his normal thing of adding to the tangle. I did have to put my project aside so that I could attempt to detangle everything, ball up the end, and regain sensibility. I spent over an hour and a half, and it's still in a clump of mess on my bedside table. Sigh. Rainy Saturday afternoon, the Imp is playing with her cars and garage in the dining room, ideal time to chill with a bit of craftiness. I'm sure that I'll get the clump sorted today, but it's frustrating.

All of this has made me thing about all of the things that we want or need to do, and we either have to wait longer than expected, or we don't complete them at all. I have other cross stitch and crochet projects in a bag that I've put aside for other things and they then gather dust. I'm the world's biggest procrastinator when it comes to tidying up, and I'd much rather spend time with the Imp. We lack the funds, so all the festivals like the Mercian Gathering, and LARP events that I'd like to try go by the wayside. They would definitely enhance the both of our lives, including our social lives, but it's just not happening. I did have a physical New Age bookshop, but had to walk away from it due to us being kicked out of our home by my ex partner when he chose somebody else. I now have four bookcases full of books in my bedroom that I occasionally list a few on Amazon, when I'm not procrastinating about it.

What roadblocks come across your path that makes you divert and not complete the path you are on? Do you go back and try to finish that path? Do you find out that it may have been the wrong path, and you're new path is the better path?  I'm talking about life in general, as well as your faith. Does your faith keep you on a straight and narrow path, or does it have bends in the road, with the occasional boulder that is placed in the way that makes you a stronger person. 

Which path is better? I guess that would depend on the person. Sometimes that straight and narrow path is what a person can cope with. Sometimes, that straight and narrow is your path, but you've put blinders on so you can't see the diversions that might be the better choices. Granted, those diversions might be the wrong choice, but you will never know until you experience it, and if it's not the correct path, there's always a way back to the right path. 

Maybe there are lots of boulders in your path, that you have to struggle to climb over, or squeeze between to get by. Some people will just give up, stop, and their life becomes a stagnating and vicious circle of depression and unhappiness. For other people, that struggle is their depression, unhappiness and problems of life, but they can see the light on the other side, don't give up, and eventually end up happily following that path again.

We also have to remember that our paths cross and interact with the paths of other people. Their paths are all equally valid. A faith-inspired blog contest has really triggered my thoughts on this. There was some ugliness when one of the other bloggers, who is travelling on a path that forces her to wear blinders, targeted another blogger from another faith, just because their paths are different. Whose path is right, and whose is wrong? It's not for us, as humans, to judge. The judgement will come from the higher powers that sit at the end of our path...the God, Gods, and/or Goddesses. You may not believe in a higher power. That's fine. As long as the path that you follow is the one that at the end you feel like you've truly accomplished something, and that you can look back and see that you've behaved with honour. We can't force others onto our paths. Your path is the one you should be following. There will be paths that run next to each other, but we all encounter different experiences.

I personally came across a fork in the road when I was 17. Did I follow the path that I had been following, that made me feel stagnated, inferior and overall unhappy, or did I follow the new path of discovery that I could see a light at the end? Seventeen years later, and I feel that I chose the correct path...the path of discovery. I have had my boulders through the years...some of them have been some real doozies...but I've always come out at the end with my faith intact, that my Gods and Goddesses are there in full support and comfort.  It wasn't the coldness and arrogance of one overall Supreme Being reminding me on a regular basis that what I did was wrong, and that I am always in the wrong. It was the support network of equals that are always there, with the encouragement that it's not just me and things will get better. My network might not be as mighty, but there is strength in numbers.

This was proven in that blog contest. We might not be a faith that is almighty, but we're there for each other in one big net.

In all of my rambling, I do eventually get to the point. Now, I think I'll stop procrastinating for the day, get a bit of tidying done in my living room (now that I've just received a huge kiss and cuddle from the Imp), and the Imp and I can get that wool untangled. Um, maybe I shouldn't ask the Imp to help me with that...at three, she's likely to enjoy making it worse than it is. But there will be future projects that she can help me with, that I can teach her.  This is just the beginning of her path and, for the moment, it sort of runs parallel to mine until she's big enough to make the decisions for herself.

Mel